Booze News
By Kevin Hyzak
August 2005 - Ordering drinks is an art form, as is creating them.
Just look at James Bond and his martini (shaken, of course, not stirred),
The Dude and his White Russian, Ted Kennedy and his scotch highball(s).
The lesson? Stop playing it safe, always ordering light beer. All light
beer and no fun make Johnny a dull boy.Mix it up a little (pun intended)!
Impress the ladies. Add a shot of class to your ordering repertoire. Need
some help? Here’s a quick guide to the out-of-the-ordinary signature
drinks and daring summer specials hiding in Worcester’s bars.
Funky Murphy’s offers a lot for the discriminating drink mogul (OK,
I know that the word “mogul” technically has nothing to do
with drinking, but I like the way it sounds so “drink mogul”
it is) whether he or she (mogulette?) who is looking for something thick
and creamy ~ try the Nuts and Berries or the Russian Quaalude, frozen
~ have a Funky Monkey, or is just a sucker for a great name ~ The Irish
Trash Can sure fits that bill. One bartender recommended the “I
Dunno,” a classic yet apparently somewhat indefinable combination
of “booze and juice” that’s an Abbott and Costello routine
waiting to happen.
Another good spot to find a great new drink is Seven. Their menu is littered
with exotic options like the “Napoleon Dynamite.” Served in
a snifter with ice, it makes a perfect summer drink. Put down your bowstaff,
pick one up, and see if you can name the ingredients. Can’t quite
do it with just one? OK, pick up another… If you’re looking
for an “off-menu” zinger, stop by My Martini (right next to
The Atrium) for the “Incredible Hulk.” Half-Hennessey and
half- Hypnotic, it’s a good ~ no wait, make that incredible, way
to jump start your night. (In case you don’t know what Hypnotic
is . . . well, good, that would sort of take away from the intrigue of
it all, now wouldn’t it?)
If you’re willing to try something at FooBar other than their nothing-could-be-as-enticing-as-this
body shots, the Foo-Tenders can whip you up an Ocean Blast or a Foo-Foo
(as much fun as it is to drink one, it’s more fun to hear a grown
man try to look cool when ordering one), a banana flavored Malibu rum
concoction.
On The Rocks has a variety of signature martinis to offer, from the Sweet
Tart-ini to the Cherry Pop-tini to the Bikini Martini. There’s a
valuable bonus that comes with ordering an -ini/-tini, too – it’s
the cool glass. Sipping from a martini glass makes you look so much more
sophisticated than if you were swigging from a brown bottle you peeled
the label off of with your thumbnail.
And last but not least (and may I add last but not without a designated
driver), head over to The Flying Rhino for a Muddy Hippo. (Now for those
of you who automatically think mean thoughts, NO, it’s a drink!)
There’s no better way to cap off a summer’s night than with
this Oreo-laced dessert-in-a-glass. So sure, you can stay forever in your
beer rut. Or you can prove that you have some bar balls and order a drink
with a multi-syllabic name and ingredients other than hops. I say go for
the latter. Remember, it takes a real man to say, “Gimme a Foo-Foo”
and a real woman to say, “I hear your Nuts and Berries are really
good.” Be safe and enjoy!
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