In Massachusetts, GLBT couples have more options than they do in other states
May 2005 - Today, gay and lesbian singles and couples have more
avenues than ever when deciding to start a family. Adoption is the most
common choice, but there is so much information available that it can
become overwhelming; figuring out where to start is the first obstacle
to overcome.
For those interested in adoption, legalities are often the leading concern.
An attorney who specializes in family law can usually answer prospective
parents’ questions. When a couple decides to go with alternative
insemination by donor [AID] or with the adoption of one partner’s
biological child, the non-biological parent must have a lawyer.
Generally, if the situation is not complicated by factors like absentee
biological (legal) parents or past criminal records, these types of adoptions
go smoothly but are moderately expensive, ranging from $500 to $2,000
depending on the lawyer’s and the court’s fees. Waiting for
a court date is often the most frustrating part of the process. It can
take months from the time the paperwork is filed until the date is assigned.
Sometimes, though, if the couple is lucky, it may take only a few weeks.
Legally, home visits and announcements (legal notification of the request
for adoption) are necessary, but sometimes these requirements are waived,
most commonly for couples who have chosen insemination by anonymous donor
sperm with the non-biological parent seeking second parent adoption.
In Massachusetts, where GLBT individuals now enjoy the same rights and
benefits of legal marriage as do heterosexuals, it is no longer required
that non-biological parents adopt the child to obtain legal rights as
parents. However, official adoption is still recommended; without it,
the minute a family crosses state lines the parent is considered a legal
stranger to the child and can be denied decision-making rights in the
event of an emergency.
Some GLBT singles and couples prefer to adopt children who need families,
children who are wards of the state in the custody of The Department of
Social Services [DSS]. These children are often victims of abuse or neglect
and start out as foster children. Some eventually go back to live with
family members, but others are declared legally free for adoption.
Each year, thousands of children go to live in foster care, and many will
never have a permanent family. Some, however, are very lucky. One plus
of adopting through the state of Massachusetts is that there are no fees
to be paid by the adoptive parent(s). Other benefits include training
and access to countless resources provided by the state. Many prospective
parents start out as foster parents and pursue adoption from there. Julia
and Tracey Emond-Parkin of Worcester are a married couple who recently
adopted two sisters, Brittany, 10, and Briana, 7. After discussing it
and making the initial call, Julia and Tracey started attending foster
parenting classes. Soon after, they were cleared by the state as a couple
suited for adopting a child. The training that they received helped them
take on many of the demanding aspects of parenting.
In Florida, the Emond-Parkin family would not be the same because although
gays and lesbians can become foster parents to children in state custody,
they cannot adopt them. Julia and Tracey know how fortunate they are that
their family is considered equal in the eyes of Massachusetts law.
However, these women are not blind to the fact that their children may
encounter some challenges. Julia and Tracey focus on building their girls’
confidence through sports, activities, academics, friends and family time.
They hope that if and when challenged, Brittany and Briana will have good
senses of self and the tolerance to deal with prejudice towards their
family. But for right now, the girls are busy behaving like average kids
their age and the family has received nothing but love and support from
family and friends.
Another option for GLBT people hoping to adopt is international adoption.
Many single and coupled gays and lesbians create their families by traveling
to China, Russia, Romania, Guatemala and many other countries to adopt
children who need parents.
This is the most expensive type of adoption, ranging from $10,000 to $50,000,
and it is usually accomplished through a private agency. Depending on
the country, many GLBT couples can only adopt when one person is perceived
as ‘single’ and the other as a ‘friend’ or roommate.
In Massachusetts, the child is typically adopted by one parent and then,
after a period of several months, the second parent can usually adopt
as well with no difficulties. China is a common choice for many gay couples,
but its strict laws prohibit gays from adopting, hence the importance
of the friend/roommate perception.
GLBT people living in Massachusetts have a range of options for starting
a family, from hiring a surrogate mother to co-parenting with another
gay person. In any case, having the right information is essential and
being comfortable with an attorney is crucial.
To locate a local, gay-friendly family lawyer, email the Central Mass
Business Council at CMBCservices@verizon.net.
This is an organization of GLBTfriendly businesses and has many lawyers
in its membership.