Do Our Late 20s Mean One Foot in the Social Grave?
By Matthew Bonazzoli
Last month, Nicole was bemoaning the fact that ladies approaching the age of 30 run the risk of being passed over for barely-out-of-their-teens hotties. This month, Matthew offers a male perspective ~ and what he has to say just might surprise you!
These days you have absolutely no reason to feel like an old maid at 28. Yes, you’re being replaced, but in the same way one batch of high school seniors graduates and is replaced by the next year’s kids. If at 28 you find that you are competing against a younger crowd, it’s time to change venues ~ and maybe even your mindset.
Dance clubs are favorite hangouts for the younger set who have only recently gained legal access to alcohol and often have the luxury ~ before family, professional responsibilities, etc. get in the way ~ of focusing on fun, fun, and more fun. It’s time for you to move on…be proud that you’ve outgrown the monkey bars in that playground.
Just because you remember when Debbie Gibson was cool doesn’t mean it’s too late for you. In the past, a woman automatically became a spinster if she wasn’t married by age 25 ~ but nowadays, you’re simply an adult and there are many worthy, mature men out there who are looking to meet an attractive, successful single woman such as yourself.
Thirty year old men who are looking for a roll in the hay with a 21 year old girl are hardly worth your time anyway, so aim a little higher ~ but do so at the right shooting gallery because the ideal guy is not usually at a rave washing down his X with a Miller Lite. Keep in mind though that by age 30 a lot of men do begin running on what is slyly called the 20% principle. This “principle” means that they are essentially looking for someone 10 – 20% younger than they are ~ so a 30 year old guy would be looking for women around 24 to 27. There’s no need to raid the nursing home yet, but it might make sense to embrace the possibility of a slightly older man in your future.
So just where are these cool, single, not-just-out-of-high-school guys to be had, you might ask? Obviously, there are no easy answers or you’d already know about them. I can only make suggestions here and first and foremost (if you haven’t already guessed) is to ditch the college dance clubs and bars. Seeing as how you are a successful woman who’s looking for something real I would suggest joining the Young Friends of the Worcester Art Museum, Young Professionals Groups or like-minded organizations such as these. They’re good places to network and the people in these groups are sometimes higher caliber than your average club hopper. Take a night course in something that interests you, find a nice quiet dive bar to have a drink with some friends, or when you and a friend are out to dinner eat in the bar or lounge as opposed to sitting in a booth ~ that way, you’ll be more approachable. You don’t have to give up fun, good times, and late nights, you might just want to look for them in slightly different venues. The most important thing is to be yourself out there.
Try to remain positive, be receptive and smile if you think a guy is checking you out. Nowadays it’s not easy for a guy to approach a woman either so if you see someone you think you may like then feel free to make the first (ladylike!) move to show you’re interested. A smile will take you a long way.
Don’t worry about being single and approaching 30. These days (take a look at Hollywood!) it’s the slightly more mature crowd that’s oozing with sex appeal and getting all the attention. Live your own life for a while and enjoy it because soon enough a guy will come around. Eventually all the good girls and boys are taken and you won’t be an exception.
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