By Sasha Fastovskiy
If you’ve ever so much as smiled your way through books and blogs like Stuff ___ People Like (insert appropriate adjective: Jewish, White, Gay), or silently nodded in agreement at subtly directed tweets from handles like @WhiteGirlProblems or @FratboyProblems, you’re likely to fall in like with Betches Love This (www.betcheslovethis.com), a racy, funny, and betchy-to-a-T ode to pop culture and pretentious complaining for no reason. A Constitution, of sorts, for those who live atop the upper echelon of high-school social hierarchy, BLT is an obsessive, pithy, explanation of the train-of-thought bitchiness of modern women. It serves as a popular voice for the deliciously and unapologetically slutty, back-stabbing, manipulative, thin, and beautiful, written by the deliciously and unapologetically slutty, back-stabbing, manipulative, thin and beautiful. It is scrumptiously delicious to read.
One of the highlights are the hilarious/cringe-worthy commentaries outlining “Betches of the Week” ~ at the time of this article, the honor went to Rihanna, because, among other reasons, “…only Rihanna could get away with getting the shit beaten out of her and then writing a song about how much she loves to get the shit beaten out of her. Betch is so ironic.” Pure gold. Maybe even platinum. Fellow Betches include Sofia Vergara, Paris Hilton, Blake Lively…and the list goes on. There’s also the a “Dear Betch” advice column, a “Betch Guide to Life,” and an acclaimed “Betch List,” a constantly growing catalog defining the cynically fabulous reason and necessity behind any betch’s favorites and unfavorites, like “#1 Talking Sh*t,” “#38 The Frenemy,” “#101 Makeup,” and “#100 Talking Sh*t 2.0.” Oh, and if you don’t know what a betch even is, it’s okay; they cover that too: more than just a term synonymous with that other B-word, a betch is also quick and edgy. “If a bro had a vagina, he’d be a betch,” the story goes. If you follow the mantra of Regina George or a Jawbreaker gal, you’re automatically a betch, and you totally love it. Equally so, you’ll love Betches Love This, because even if you don’t admit it, you’ve always wanted to be a betch.